she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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