He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
