How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
