Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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