What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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