Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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