guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
His nipple licking is glorious
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
