I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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