So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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