did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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