K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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