I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I need help removing her.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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