Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize