he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize