I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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