I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
True college students do jello shots in the library
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