i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
