she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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