turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
