woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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