We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
