Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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