Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
