I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
