we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
