Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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