scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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