Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
