White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
