a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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