two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
