I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
