This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
