how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
