I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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