need another drink. this is the easiest way
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
