Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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