Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
4 words: hood of his car
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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