Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
