Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she pinky promised me she was 18
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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