I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
