Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
