i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
