if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The adults are the big ones right?
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