What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
