I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
