i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize