i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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