I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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