I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
