So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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