I am in a vortex of obligation.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
