I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize