It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
