Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize