Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
