Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
