I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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