I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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