shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize