He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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