Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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