Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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