I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
