Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
