did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
