Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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