hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
